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Saturday, February 07, 2004
life is full of ups and downs. one part of my life is great!! he always is. another part is pissing me tuh fuck off. maybe the way i am is not the best, but at least ppl know where i stand. like it or lump it. its the lack of effort that has me amazed.anyways, i am getting myself in the carnival mood. i found a cd wid carnival songs from '95. like machel "push it", ajala "horsie", super blue "lara". boy we need more songs like those. and apparently there is a whole bajan contingent coming down for carnival. i guess it will be a bajan invasion this year. anyways, carnival funds are coming in steady, so its all good. peace • • • • • Wednesday, February 04, 2004
:Dlife is good, very very good. i cant complain about anything other than my weight. and since my significant other doesnt mind ;) then i not too perturbed. altho i am still working out for carnival. at least my endurance is improving. i am really looking forward to carnival, i'll be partying wid ms.saw and kiwi , we gine mash up trinidad. anyways tonight i can get in my bed early, so i am going to take advantage of that. ... i doan know but this year everybody either pregnant or engaged. did i miss something?!?! • • • • • Sunday, February 01, 2004
Going through the motions...have you ever found yourself saying something or doing something but it has no meaning whatsoever. you are doing it just because. eg. saying the words "i love you", "i trust you","i have faith in you" , "we are best friends". why do ppl say these words and yet they do not mean them at all. why are they fooling themselves and the persons they say these words to. is it so important what others think of us that we say and do things that mean nothing to us, so that we can feel "complete" or so that we can "spare someone's feelings"?? what is the point?!?! do we say these words to trap a person and let them hold on to a false hope of some kind of relationship? (by relationship i mean anykind, not only bf/gf, bestfriends,platonic etc) i have to admit, i am probably the most insensitive female in my group of friends. i have a tendency to be extremely decisive, but i make radical decisions, and for the most part i stick to them. maybe i have to much pride to try to make things work and humble myself, but i hate beggin for things from ppl, especially something like a friendship. i am fine by myself thank you very much. everyone wants to be you friend, to be a part of your life, yet they expect that they have to do nothing once they become that particular part of your life. that is not how a relationship works. i've worked hard to get the relationships i have to work, and if the other person doesnt work hard to, i tell them carry their ass, its simple. eg. my mom and i have a great relationship now, before it was horrible, i hardly spoke to her, but she was persistent and did not push me away, and now we are as close as ever, although many times i would have moved out, but thats what sacrifice is. and both persons have to sacrifice to make something work. and there must be compromise. anyways thats just my lil venting session. last night was fun, i danced at discovery bay hotel, it was hilarious, but hey, i getting paid so its all groovy. no it was not exotic dancing. then the girls i danced with decided to go in le club for ole dub night. it was great. i didnt see andrea. i saw these 3 whites guys who i normally see in club xtreme, i was most shocked. lol. they looked very out of place. anyways, no more going out. saving up for this carnival. oh ye,plus school started back. toodles • • • • • |
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The Nothings of my Life      |