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Friday, November 12, 2004
i wonder if i say something often(i hate you enough it will come to pass and even then i will i actually believe it myself. i really hate it when people make a choice (i hate you), know the consequences will change things, but yet feel that things will remain the same. then when they doant remain the same, they find fault in the other parties involved who had nothing to do with the decision making process. so anyways, i excused myself from such said situation, my presence was not needed so i left. i wont go unless things change, and since no one wants to change, why don't they just leave me alone.(i hate you) i tired of changing and giving in, and compromising. contrary to popular belief i do have feelings. altho i am only taken for granted. what goes around comes around. doan worry all my hate coming back to me already.*** so another two weeks off from school. and from next week i gotta go everyday for the dressing to be changed. it is no longer fun (for want of a better word). especially since the one person i want to talk to is dead to me. (i hate you). it is actually looking like i wont be able to do my exams. i am not thrilled. i miss going to school, i am fedup of being home. the only good thing is i do not have to see parties from above story. however, i am turning and unhealthy yellow colour, due to lack of sun. i wonder when i'm gonna be able to come back to civilisation. i know for sure i will be better by 14th jan for alicia keys in concert. (i hate you) hole in my back or not i'll be dere with my sis and govie. altho more than likely i will leave them and shimmy my way to the front of the stage to enjoy the vocal delights of ms.keys. i also thinking bout going to that show on the 29th nov, especially now since i hear bunji performing. :D just what i need to brighten up my day. *** i wonder how michelle got thru in her first block exam today. i spoke to her last night and she seemed very calm and ready. so i keeping my fingers crossed. (8)what goes around comes around, what goes up must come down(8) *** i said it sooooo many times and i want to mean it, but i dont • • • • • Wednesday, November 10, 2004
so a minimum of 8 weeks before this hole close up. so much for miami. ah well. at least all parties going to miami, should be coming to bim, so that's good. my stomach is all fucked up cause of the meds and the pain is killing me today, but i'll be fine. i sooooo tired of being home and not being able to do anything. i miss going for drives in the night and chilling. thankfully last night a friend came and took me for a drive out st.phillip side to another friend i hadnt seen in a while. it was very nice to be inhaling that fresh air late in de night, not much pollutants. they are two idiots and made me realise that men NEVER grow up. they were talking bout a recent trip to guyana to see the rally. well it wasnt only rally they saw that's for sure, lol. well they aint my men nor do i have kids for them, sooooo no worries for me. better to have them as friends than anything else. st.phillip is very nice, just far as rasshole.*** needing a good cry ever had the feeling that u needed to cry. not for anything in particular. but for everything. a good cry for.... *the fact that this cyst could have been alot worse and the surgery could have gone terribly wrong and i wouldnt be here today but thank god i am and everything is fine and i am alive. *the fact that i have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in my belly, parents and family that love me, they are so many who do not have any of those things. *the fact that i can get an above average eduction free. so many countries and the people living there cannot afford that luxury which we bajans take for granted. IT IS A LUXURY. *the one who got away and is now taken by someone else. *the one i hurt and wish i didnt, but nonetheless he still in my life yay for me :) *being single it is great i am happy, but the downside is the being alone. altho i realise now me time is some of the best time spent. *my nanie who burned her hand frying bakes for us but didnt tell us i only found out when she got back to trinidad *the louis vuitton limited edition alma bag which i can only afford if i sell my spleen, lol *the fact that barbados and the caribbean is so blessed. we can walk the streets and not fear that we will be killed or arrested based on the colour of our skin,hair, eyes, our religous beliefs etc. anyways, enough venting. still no tears. my emotions dead. ah well. going to take my shower, just got a phone call, my presence is requested to go to the post office :D. yippee i can get out of the house. ahahahahaaha lata • • • • • |
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The Nothings of my Life      |